Rick Brown We Love You Forever!

This has been one of the hardest posts I have ever had to write. It has been over two months since my dad passed, and it has not gotten much easier to deal with. Each day brings its new challenges, but I do find comfort in the knowledge of my Heavenly Father's plan for us. My dad is with his loved ones and will be learning so much about the Plan of Salvation. There is no doubt in my mind that we will be together forever. I love him dearly, grieve his death daily, and remember his sweet personality constantly. He is such a big part of my life and I can not wait to teach my children about the wonderful person their Grandpa Brown was. This post is to express my thoughts and feelings about my dad and also to tell the story of his passing.

My dad died unexpectedly. We had no idea how sick he really was. He died of esophagus bleeding (connected to liver problems) and it got worse really fast. He was visiting family on the east coast and having just the best time. He was laying down for a nap and then started throwing up blood. They rushed him to a hospital and nearly died on the way there. He stayed at a wonderful hospital in Portland, Maine. He checked in the first week of October and passed away on October 23rd. He was unconscious for about a week and a half and my brothers and I were so sad and prayed constantly every single day. I could not believe how sick he was and cried about it all the time. After a day of fasting and praying, my dad woke up three days later from his sickness. We were so grateful and each of us were able to speak with him on the phone. We thought he was going to make a full recovery, but he was still not out of the woods yet. On October 21st his throat started bleeding again and his blood pressure tanked. The doctors thought he was dead but it just was really low blood pressure. I got a phone call that morning and found out what happened. I was in tears all day--but I had tickets to the BYU Football game so I went. I was worried the entire time, constantly checking my phone to make sure my dad was ok. I finally got a call from my brother saying that he and Travis were flying out that night on a red eye to see my dad. So I decided to fly out too. The doctor said we should come now because he doesn't have a lot of time left. I was completely terrified of flying across the country in the middle of the night by myself, knowing my dad could pass away any time. Spencer was super supportive and drove me to the airport. I bravely got on the plane at 11pm and made it to Atlanta, Georgia at 3am. As the plane landed I got a text from Kris who had been trying to call me but could not get a hold of me. She said my dad passed away and was so sorry. I could not breathe. I was so scared and confused. We had almost made it to him in time. I started feeling the plane close in on me and could not wait to get off. As soon as I got off I called Spencer and woke him up crying. He was so sad and wished he could be with me. By the grace of God, Dustin also had a lay over in Atlanta and met me about 45 minutes later. It was so comforting to have him there with me. We called my mom and Grandpa and told him the news. We were at a loss of words, completely filled with sadness and shock. I had no idea my dad would pass away at 56 years old. He had so much life left in him! I was so angry and upset and even to this day can not believe what has happened.

Dustin and I got our connecting flight to Portland, Maine, where my brother Travis met us. We took a shuttle from the airport to the hospital and met Kris there. She was in tears and completely shocked as well. I felt so bad for her as she was only his wife for a little over a year. She had been there with him at the hospital every single day, giving us updates on my dad every few hours. She was heaven sent and a huge blessing for all of us. I love her so much and I hope she knows she is always going to be an important part of our lives. After we sat and talked for a while, the doctor (sweetest lady ever) who deals with death came and spoke with us and explained every thing that had happened. She prepared us to see my dad and let us know he did not look like himself due to all the fluids they were pumping into him the last hours of his life. He died that morning at about 3:30am (1:30 my time). We could not be more prepared when we went in to see my dad's body. What I mean is that nothing really prepares you for a moment like that. I was pretty calm and tried to keep calm. My brothers were very sad and cried over his body. It was very touching and overwhelming. We spent a good 45 minutes with him before we said our final goodbyes. It was my dad, but not really. His spirit was gone so it wasn't too hard to say goodbye at that time. Doesn't make it any easier though. We spent that day going over plans, went out to eat to Denny's (didn't eat a whole lot), and then spent the night at the La Quinta Inn. We were going to drive back down to Virginia and go through my dad's stuff, but decided against that for now as it was a 12 hour drive. We all flew back the next day and decided to have the burial that Saturday in California where his family and friends lived. My flight was delayed and I missed my connecting flight in Detroit. After everything that happened, I had to stay the night all by myself (pregnant) in a huge crime city that I had never even been in. I had a very hard time sleeping that night and could NOT wait to get home. Spencer's friend Michael picked me up at the airport in SLC that afternoon and I got my hair done by his wife Jackie to pass the time until Spencer came home to meet me at his parents. It was so nice seeing familiar faces.

I took the entire week off of work, missed running basketball tryouts, and I do not regret that for one minute. I needed the whole week to figure things out, to unwind and recover from the tragedy. The next day I spent sleeping, packing and unpacking, and putting together more sub plans for my classes. Spencer and I drove out to California on Thursday and spent the night at Dustin's house in Sonora. On Friday we went to the bay area where Spence and I spent the entire day exploring places that my dad and I had been together (from my last post). It was a wonderful day, one I will never forget! And that leaves me to the memorial service that took place a month later during Thanksgiving. Like I said it was at Harry' Hofbrau. I had been there a couple times with my dad and he loved going there. It was nice to be at a place that had a positive connotation for me. I ordered the pastrami sandwich because that is what my dad always ordered. My dad was so special! If only every one reading this could know how amazing he was. I miss him so much! I know he will forever live on and I will see him again. He will be doing incredible things in heaven. What a blessing it is to know that I will be able to see him and be with him again. Love you dad!

The burial took place about 7 days after his death in Hayward, California. He was cremated and buried in the same mosoleum as my grandmother. My brothers and I spoke, as well as my step mother Kris and grandfather Ed. It was a very nice, small burial with close friends and family. We did our best to commemorate my dad's life and express the truly wonderful, loving, and spirited person my dad was throughout his life. It took me a while to figure out what I wanted to say in my speech but after giving it and expressing my love for my dad, I know that what was said was perfect for him. All of his friends and family said they enjoyed listening to the stories and thoughts of his kids.

Pictures and flowers for my dad

He loved the Raiders! They were his team and a huge part of his life. He even had a tattoo of all the super bowls that the Raiders won. DIE HARD FAN! He had season tickets for 10 years and me and my brothers went to several of the games together growing up. Some of the best memories we have with my dad are watching football games together.

Here we are, with my dad. His remains were in that golden box. It was so weird not having him there. We definitely felt his love and presence there. It's amazing how close to the spirit world you can actually be and feel at a funeral. I KNOW my dad was there with us. I could feel him all around.

After the burial we watched as the worker lifted up the remains into the mossoleum of my grandmother Marlene. They are together now on earth and in heaven. So special!

Here is a story/poem I wrote for my dad the night before his burial. I was going to read it, but just speaking from my heart seemed more appropriate for the service.

The Best Years of My Dad's Life...

My dad lived a long, happy, and adventurous life. Has has left behind such a wonderful legacy. I miss him more than I will ever be able to describe, but I know that his spirit will continue to progress in the the world he is in now. I have so much faith that we will be able to see him again. To touch his face, laugh with him, to give him a hug and hear his stories. I know that Heavenly Father is so proud of my dad and pleased with the way he loved and cherished his children. My dad had the biggest heart, and once you were in it, you knew it, you felt it, and you wanted more of it. My dad's personality was addicting! He had so much passion for life--he had more energy of anyone I have ever met. He was talented beyond measure and accomplished so many things in his life.

I had a very unique and loving relationship with my father. He loved me so much and was so proud of me. He and I were closer than many of my other friends and their dad's were. He called me lovey, dolly dim, and I always knew our relationship would be strong. I was his only daughter. He nearly raised me as a son because he has two brothers and two sons before he was blessed with a daughter. When I was born he was scared because he didn't know what to do with a girl! He was so proud of his kids, and we were proud to have him as a father. I always knew his children were #1 in his life.

My dad has taught me so many lifelong lessons. He was full of wisdom and advice. Often times I'll be driving and I can hear my dad's voice--reminding me to be safe. My love for sports began with him. He taught me how to shoot a basketball, how to swing a bat, and throw a football. How many girls do you know that can do all that! He took many chances with life, and I always respected him for overcoming obstacles and moving forward. He has a heart of gold. He lived life to the absolute fullest! I have never met anyone quite as fun loving and care free as my dad. Some of his great accomplishments in his life include excelling in sports (football captain and bench press record at Irvington High School), forming a solid relationship with Jesus Christ, overcoming addiction, marrying incredible women like my mom and Kris, raising 3 beautiful and talented children, building several businesses from scratch including the mine, DirecTV, and several others. He was the most adventuroius entrepeneur I know, taking on projects most humans wouldn't dare to tackle, loving his mother, father, and brothers, and always just being my wonderful dad.I knew he would always he be there for me--no matter what.

My most precious memory of my dad is at my wedding. We had the opportunity to dance two times at two different receptions. My dad always talked with me about how excited he was to share that moment with me. He was elated throughout the whole dance and I will never forget the smile on his face as we danced to "I Loved You Frist." He truly was and is one of my best friends. We had such a fun relationship and I have hundreds of memories of one on one time I have spent with my dad. He drove me out to college and BYU and on our way out I got a speeding ticket. He tried so hard to get me out of it! He took me to my very first concert (the band YES!). I could totally be my goofy self and sing off tune with him in the car--dancing and just having the best time.

Knowing that he is and forever will be my daddy brings me great peace during this trying time. I know that his heart is always going to beat. It is comforting to know that he is in a place of peace, rest, love, and family. I know that Heavenly Father has an eternal plan for all of us. We will see him again and it will be a joyous reunion! I miss him now, and I wish he was still here. I am comforted to know that while his mortal body is gone, his spirit lives on. Yesterday I spent some time retracing places that we had been together--San Francisco, Sausalito, Muir Woods, and Stinson Beach. I know I felt his spirit--he is now free and with his Heavenly Father. I love you daddy. You will always be remembered and your beautiful legacy will forever continue through your chilren and grandchildren.

Missing and Loving You,

Julie

About a month later, during Thanksgiving break, we had a memorial service for extended family and friends of my dad. We wanted to wait a while to have the actual memorial where everyone could express their thoughts and feelings about my dad. When my dad passed away we thought it suitable to have the burial first, and the memorial later on. We thought of tons of different places to hold the memorial service. My dad was a pretty laid back guy so we wanted it to be informal and fun. We thought about having it at Rick's Park (a park right behind the house he grew up in where he used to play football) but then we thought maybe the weather wouldn't be the best in November. So more ideas were thrown around--renting out a facility and having a catered event, then...we remembered a place that my dad loved to eat. Harry's Hofbrau is a German pub/restaurant that had a perfect room to hold the memorial service.

Everyone who grew up with my dad called him R.B. That was his name and that is what all of his friends called him when they were speaking of him. So many people came to the service. It was incredible the kind of influence that my dad had on so many people's lives. Even people who barely knew him from grade school came. It was amazing to see the love that everyone expressed for my dad!

Here are a few pictures of the people who spoke. Dustin, Travis, and I spoke briefly, then we opened it up to anyone who wished to say a few words. I think my dad would have been very pleased with all the people who were there.

My Grandpa Ed found a letter my dad wrote him for Father's Day several years ago. It was about 3 pages long and expressed all the wonderful memories he had of his dad. It made me cry and I could tell my grandfather was so pleased reading it. It was really neat to see him express his love for my dad.

My nephew Bryan even spoke about his grandpa. They were really close and he and his sisters miss my dad so much. He was such a great grandpa. I only wish he would be here to hold my little girl in April. So sad.

His brother Ron, left. My mom, right. These two knew my dad so well. Especially my mom! They were married for 12 years and went through so much together. Even though they had their differences, they ended up being really great friends and had a lot in common (their kids, for one). My mom and dad loved each other so much. It's too bad they didn't work out, but at least they remained friends and found wonderful spouses for themselves later in life.

I wasn't sure if Spencer was going to say anything. I knew how much he loved my dad. He didn't know him very long but my dad accepted Spencer from the first time he met him. They got along so well it was incredible to watch. I am SO grateful they got to know each other before my dad passed. It means a lot to me to know that my husband knew my dad. He knew his quirks, his silliness, his sense of humor, his funny shorts and sandals he would wear, all of the good and the bad. Laura also said some beautiful words too. She has known my dad for about 14 years!

My beautiful mother, Connie. She has been so supportive and loving through all of this. I am so grateful she is still in my life and such a big part of it. I do not know what I would do without her. Honestly, such an amazing person!

My great Aunt, left. My dad's neighbor friend Susan, right. It was so sweet of them to come!

Spencer, Kris, and Katie. Oh and my dad! It was so nice to see Kris. It's too bad she lives all the way in Virginia though :(

My mom and Kris have such a great relationship. It's like they are two old friends.

Dustin and Travis speaking with one of my dad's oldest friends. The Hofbrau was full of people like this and it was so wonderful being able to meet them.

I love you dad! We all love you and miss you. Keep shining down on us from heaven.

We can feel your love.