When life gives you lemons...

Hello out there! I hope you are finding yourself enjoying your summer. I have been "trying" as best I can to enjoy my maternity leave from work. And I just absolutely love spending every second with Autumn. We have some good times nursing and watching One Tree Hill. I am so addicted to that show, which is not good because there are 8 seasons! We also have been going to the Orem Recreation Center and swimming, as well as taking long walks around the neighborhood, and spending time with family in West Jordan. It feels great to be exercising again! I have missed it so much. Today I lifted weights and got on the treadmill for 30 minutes. Felt so great!

The lemon I am referring to at the beginning of this post is my post-partum recovery..and all the physical challenges that have come from my pregnancy. I don't meant to complain but I really just need to get some things out that have been such a challenge to me and my family the last month.

Around mid June I was up late watching TV and started to feel really dizzy/lightheaded and it really freaked me out. I went into our room and woke Spencer up and the feeling did not go away. I was scared and my anxiety started to act out and I could hardly sleep the rest of the night. I figured it would have gone away in the morning but it never did. Two days later I found myself in instacare getting checked up. The doctor noticed my thyroid gland was enlarged so they ran some blood tests. He did not know what the dizziness was being caused from because there are so many reasons a person could feel that way. So I started brainstorming and decided that I smelled gas in the house so there must be a gas leak. We called the gas company and they fixed the leak. I felt better for a few hours but the dizziness kept coming back day after day. I even spent a few nights at my in-laws place to see if that made a difference. NO. So on top of all the dizziness I went to the thyroid doctor and he said I have hyperthyroidism which is technically called postpartum thyroiditis. Who knew? Apparently it will go away in a few months but until then my thyroid is pumping out a lot of hormones. The endocrinologist says that thyroid problems typically do not cause lightheadedness, and referred me to a ENT doctor (ear, nose, throat). SO I went to see him and said there was nothing wrong. Then I went to see a neurologist and he said my blood pressure was low and that could be why I have been feeling light headed. So I started taking salt tablets to raise my blood pressure. I checked my blood pressure yesterday and it is back up to normal. Still dizzy. So confused and I feel so discouraged that they can't find anything wrong! I have an EEG to check for signs of seizures set up and I may consider getting an MRI done if it doesn't go away soon. My symptoms tend to get better at night but I also have been having small panic attacks at night (probably from all this stress). So I have been taking some anti-anxiety medication to calm me down and see if that helps with the dizziness.

I have been praying like crazy and have received several blessings about this problem. I know I will be healed it is just a matter of time for the Lord to teach me what I need to learn. I have been so down because of all of these things that are happening when all I really want to do is enjoy my day being with Autumn. I of course love every second I get to spend with her, but it would just be that much better if I didn't have to deal with this every single day. I know so many people have much worse chronic health problems than I do. I know I am blessed with a usually healthy, symptom free body and I am so grateful for that. I have been trying to increase my faith daily with study and prayer and most of all trying to learn how to ease my worries by relaxing and getting enough rest. I am not sure why we as humans go through certain trials but I do know that the Lord loves us and especially knows the trials and tribulations of our heart. I have been blessed with so many friends and family who love and care about me, who pray for me and wish for my full health to return. I am grateful for that. I am grateful for my beautiful baby girl who makes me smile when I am feeling down. She is the happiest baby I have ever seen and for that I am truly grateful and proud to be her mom!

So until I figure out this problem, I am making lemonade. Each day when I wake up I focus on being the best mom I can be and filling my day with things that make me happy and feel productive. There were a few times where I was so discouraged I didn't want to do anything but just rest and be worried. But I know that life is too short to let time pass us by. I know that in time everything will work out, no matter what is wrong with me I will always have the knowledge of the gospel and the plan of salvation. Those are things that are always constant and never change. Along with the love of family and friends, and the knowledge that this life is a time to prepare to meet God and to become the best possible versions of ourselves that we can be. My love for my Heavenly Father has increased the past few weeks because I know he is aware and helping me each and every day. I have faith that my patriarchal blessing and blessings I have received from Spencer which all say I will lead a healthy life will come true. In the mean time, keep me in your prayers if you can. I would really appreciate it. I love you all! OH and here is a cute picture. Just because. XOXO

This is what i get to wake up to every morning. So lucky!